May 2

Is there anyone among you who, if your child asks for a fish, will give a snake instead of a fish? Or if the child asks for an egg, will give a scorpion? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him! —Luke 11:11-13

"I have to believe that there's a purpose for everything," my student said, as much to herself, I suspected, as to her classmates. Her position made perfect sense. If she didn't believe that bad things happen for a reason, how would she be able to deal with the head injury her father had suffered several years ago, or for that matter, with her birth mother's decision to give her up for adoption?

Heads nodded in agreement all around the room. Sensing that others might not share her certitude, I asked, "Does anyone have a different point of view?" Cautiously, a trio of students raised their hands. I lifted mine as well.

What had taken us down this path was our discussion of Terry Tempest Williams's book Refuge: An Unnatural History of Family and Place. An account of Williams's mother's death from cancer, interwoven with a lament for Utah's flooded Bear River Migratory Bird Sanctuary, Refuge raises myriad questions about loss, change, faith, and the heart-rending experience of watching a loved one die.

Does God will such things to take place? I could tell that my students were thinking. Predominantly college freshmen, these 18- and 19-year-olds have nonetheless felt the impact of pain in their lives; they have seen parents split up, brothers sent to prison, friends die violently and far too soon behind the wheel of their very first car. To imagine that these events would have no larger purpose is anathema to them.

Can good come out of suffering? Of course, I assured them. To believe this, however, is not the same as believing that God desires our pain. "What kind of God would this be?" I asked, not really expecting an answer. Looking into the middle distance, a few of them pursed their lips and nodded. They were thinking, I realized; finding the answer, I knew, would take them the rest of their lives.

God who knows our every pain and heartache, let us so trust your goodness that we never cease to seek you.